When we try to shape behaviours we usually do it around the outcome we want. We focus on the end result, on what we want to HAVE and work backwards. I want to weigh x kilos, therefore I must do y and z.

But if this goes against the grain of who you are (your BEing), it can be hard to sustain the DOing. This is a recipe for initiating new behaviours that you can’t make stick. The new behaviours are only temporary changes that seem difficult and cannot be sustained over the long term. You never get to HAVE the outcome you want.

Here’s a tip to make things easier. Start with BEing.

Ask: Who do I need to BE? Who is the type of person that gets the outcome I want? If I want to lose weight, what would a person who is losing weight do?

Take action with a focus on your identity (who you are BEing) rather than your outcome (what you want to Have). This creates a self-improvement feedback loop. You identify the kind of person need to BE. You start with one behaviour that kind of person does. The more you DO that behaviour, the more you reinforce the belief that you are BEing the kind of person that gets the result you want. Magic!

For example, a person who is losing weight plans in advance what they eat so they can choose foods that fuel their body rather than eating whatever is on hand or most emotionally satisfying.

You begin to plan your meals in advance.

Now you are BEing the person who is DOing the things that result in your desired outcome.

You have created a spiral. The more you DO the thing, the more you come to believe you are BEing the kind of person who gets the outcome you want. Doing the thing gets easier and easier. The behaviours become integrated and automatic.

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to BEcome.
It eventually becomes a part of who you are.

Way to go!!

Contact me if you want to change who you are BEing.